永遠記得你，舅母！

Just got a call from Honolulu, my aunt has passed away after a long fight with cancer.  She was a woman who has given her whole life to the happiness and well being of her family, a family of a husband, three boys and a girl.  They are all married and have a family of their own, so to speak.  Luckily in her eyes, the youngest son has finally settled down and started a family.  Both of her older sons married woman who were older and much older than themselves and became step-fathers.  I still remember that she use to cry to my Mom about the “misfortune” of not having a grandson of their own, that her “duty” to the ancestors had failed…  I, at that time, kept telling her that as long as her sons are happy, it doesn’t matter.  She would smile thru her tears and shake her head telling me that I don’t understand.  That I am too “Western” in my thinking and when would I find a husband and when will I “請舅母飲?” I always came back with the retort, “飲茶，隋時!  依家去啦!” I would saunter out of the room or house.
She was a very traditional Chinese woman who grew up in China and struggled to make a livelihood for her family.  She immigrated to the US in the early 80’s with my uncle and younger cousins, leaving the oldest son in China because he was passed the age for family immigration.  I, humorously recalled that I had come home late one night, and when I walked into my house, there were 2 guys lying in my living room, so I tipped toed around them and entered my bedroom.  Lo and behold, Mom never told me that someone was sharing my bed!  There she was, a sixteen year old girl lying on half of my full size bed.  Sharing a bed is bad enough, I have always had my own room since I can remember but I don’t even know her!  That night was the first time since I was a toddler, I fell off the bed.  “Patunk!”  Next night, she was sleeping in the other room with her parents.  Another funny incident was when I was getting ready to go out for my run, I couldn’t find my almost brand new “New balance” running shoes, which cost me a fortune back then.  I searched high and low and just couldn’t locate it.  Forgoing the decision to go running, I decided to wait till Mom got back to ask her if she had seen my shoes.  I didn’t have to ask… Three hours later, I saw my shoes on my boy cousins’ feet (without socks) and instantly registered that I have to go and get myself another pair.  Family!  And I didn’t even really know them!  As the years went by, I saw them every so often when Uncle& Auntie came to visit.  They even came to visit when we moved to Las Vegas a couple of times and the last time was just last year.  I had thought that the cancer was in remission but… no, it came back and till the very end, she didn’t let up on how badly it was until my Dad gave me the news this afternoon that she is longer with us.  May she rest in peace and finally be happy.