Something that made me laughed out loud today…

I read this a few years ago and saw it again today in a “Chinese” magazine.  I just laughed and thought it was just as funny as the first time that I read it.  So, I thought I would share it.  (Don’t ask about my age! Ha-ha!)  Most people believe that Andy Rooney, a cantankerous commentator for the 60 Minutes wrote this essay but in actuality these very wise words were written by Frank Kaiser, a columnist whose Suddenly Senior articles are published on his website and syndicated to a variety of newspapers across the United States.   Some of the words have been changed due to the fact that it was credited to Rooney but the majority of what Kaiser wrote. remains intact.  You can read the original article here.  "In Praise of Older Woman by Frank Kaiser".

As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

*A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, “What are you thinking?” She doesn’t care what you think.

*If a woman over 40 doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it’s usually more interesting.

*A woman over 40 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom.  Few women past the age of 40 gives a damn what you might think about her or what she’s doing.

*Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant.  Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it…

*Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it’s like to be unappreciated.

*Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40.  They always know.

*A woman over 40 looks good wearing bright red lipstick.  This is not true of younger women or drag queens.

*Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

*Older women are forthright and honest. They’ll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don’t ever have to wonder where you stand with her!

Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman 40+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress.

Ladies, I apologize for all of us. For all those men who say, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?”, here’s an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!